One thing I thought about today is that I never get tired of talking to someone I am interested in. Never. I don’t have that feeling like, uahh I don’t think I will call them today cuz I’m just not thinking about them. There is some part of every day when I think about that person and even if I can’t talk…which I always seem to be able to, I at least text. If I am not talk ing to someone it is because I am in game mode and wanting them to contact me so I don’t come on too strong. I can’t think of one time when I was really into someone and didn’t want to talk to them at least once a day… more like 5-10! Am I wrong here? Do I come across as this crazy obsessive bitch because I want to talk to or hear from my person of interest? I really need some feedback on this. It’s like everyone is playing along all the while saying they don’t enjoy games and want to be straight forward. Here I am in a new.. thing, hell, I don’t know what it is. Talking to a new man and really interested in him. Again, we talked for hours and texted throughout every day. Then talking slowed down and texts kept going. Then texts slowed and talking stopped completely. Today, no text and no call. I now this is where the light bulb should go off that says ummm, you know that sex compliates things right? I just don’t buy it. I put that in the same category as people who say you can’t be grossly rich and happy at the same time. Bahhh, I don’t believe it! In fact, give me a butt load of money and let me prove how happy I can be. I’ll be all about balance and benjamines. I left out for Atlanta today. I attempted the first level of any relationship that has any amount of depth and asked for a ride to the air port. I was hopeful when he said he would check his schedule (hmm, guess I shouldn’t have been hopeful since I needed a ride at 8am and he didn’t work until the afternoon. I waited a few days and didn’t hear back about this request. I am a planner and I like to know what’s up well in advance. I knew for sure he would want to see me before I leave for a week. Especialy since we haven’t seen each other in over five days. Well, I had to ask. I texted something like: “I know you are busy and wanted me to get back with you after you checked your schedule (actually he was going to get back to me, but I used a little communication trickery) I was just wondering if you think you’ll be able to give me a ride to the air port Wednesday?” His response came later and was something along these lines: I won’t be able to take you to the air port because I have a very busy day. I wish I could” Wishing and hoping and wanting don’t do anything for me but bring up m y defenses likek a bad burp. So today I waited and waited to hear from him. Ususally it is first thing in the morning. Lately, I realized I was the one making the first contact, every day, each time. Today, I thought I’d give him a chance to show that he was thinking about me Nothing. Now, does that mean he isn’t thinking or that he was so super busy that he wouldn’t put a short sentence toether as he had done for days in a row? I fought and fought and fought back the urge to call or text again. Oh, did I tell you I texted this morning that he can call this week when he has a chance? Well I did. Any how. I was at the air port till 6:00 since my flight was delayed by 4 hours. I never received a text As I was wondering when I would hear from my new interest, I read my life story in a book called How To Be Single. I have now figured out why it is taking so long for me to get through this comical book. Because to me, it isn’t funny, it is my life. So one woman in the book was waiting to hear back from someone she had gone out with a few times and had slept with the night before. As she sought the advice of a dear girlfriend, the friend said that now is the time when he shows how long he can go without talking to her. This is where he shows his intent. These were such strong words that I had a nervous smile on my face. It was as if someone was watching my life and writing about it for the whole world to see. I had to take a step back and close the book. Is this what is going on? Instead of talking about intent and future plans, I must assertain by action or lack thereof? I swear I will go one of these times for th suggestested 90 days and see where that gets me. All I know is that the first date or the second date plan is not working! I guess I am willing to play this game as long as it works for me. As soon as it doesn’t, I’ll quit and persue another hobby. I know that once I land and we are given permission to turn on devices, I will search through my phone for any indication that he thought of me today. A text, a missed call, a message. Something that says “I should still be your number one choice because I thought of you and contacted you during my super busy day” Why oh why do I sell myself so short. I don’t now, but it will take the last chaper of this experience to let me kow.
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