WARNING! THIS SERIES IS WRITTEN TRUE-LIFE STYLE AND IS ONLY FOR GROWN FOLKS. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THE CHRONICLES, REFRAIN FROM READING ANY FURTHER. IF NOT read on....
January 5, 2010
Shawn and I have talked at least ten times today. He doesn’t make excuses as to why we can’t talk. He makes time to talk. I like what I see and I like what I hear. It seems impossible that we could grow together at this rate from a distance of 2,323.9 miles. In three days. We have covered a breadth and depth of conversations that rivals no other person I’ve talked to. Raising children, our upbringing, health and wellness, cars, relationships, intimacy, our house, domestic roles, housekeepers and lawn services, abuse, love. He advised me, directed me, taught me about ring tones, phone lock, air line ticket dates. He is who I’ve been looking for. Now, I must forget the ones who have hurt me along my journey to find him. I will take the lessons I was meant to learn and incorporate them into this new journey. He has already proven himself to be a MAN and a man of GOD. A leader, a romantic, comedian, good listener. On the first day we talked, you said you were romantic. A long distance date would consist of me going to blockbuster to pick out a movie. You getting the same movie and us watching it together over the phone. Wow, effort, imagination – what a beautiful change.
Later that day…
January 5, 2010
I knew you were going to say it! I knew you wanted to say it because you stopped yourself at least two times earlier in the day. Tonight, you told me that you loved me. It was so matter of fact and empty of bullshit that I believed you. I too had whispered, “I love you” into the phone after hanging up with you earlier. I immediately scolded myself – Jennifer, how can you love this man? After talking with Penny for a long time about our journey thus far, I felt empowered. I knew that it was ok to feel what I was feeling. It was under no control of me! Simply my heart and mind responding to you. So I responded to you by saying, “I am falling for you as well.” As the conversation progressed, I slipped and said something like “I love that about you” or “I am loving this or that” You said, “You know you love me…” I said, “Yes, I do – I love you too.” It wasn’t even a moment full of sap and gushiness. It was matter of fact, I have found you, I want you and I love you. It’s the love that comes with respect, honor, and admiration.
You said we are working on three levels of relationships right now. Being my best friend, my wife, and my partner in Gods will. You prayed with me twice today. Beautiful non-forced, flowing prayers from us to God. I know you are a good man and that you will love me, take care of me, protect me and treat me as a lady. That’s your nick-name for me, Miss Lady.
1/25/10 AFTERTHOUGHT….I know, I know, I know! I was all wrapped up in the love and the possibility and being wanted. Now I have to set a frickin rule for myself that I cannot express my love toward a man unless I’ve known him for at least a full month! And, I won’t spread the word on facebook until after the first tri-mester. Three months of dating bliss before telling the whole world. I never knew I could fall so hard, so fast, so deep. Now that I know, I MUST STOP MYSELF!
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