September 12, 2009
Isaiah seemed like a really nice guy. Were going to meet in my area with no expectations or false ‘relationship’ issues. The first couple times we talked it was so fun, we laughed and flirted. Then it seemed that each time I called he was ‘driving’ and couldn’t talk, or getting in to the shower, or eating. One excuse after the other. There were weeks that went by without me hearing from him. Then I would say something about not hearing from him and he’d say, well, you could call! A little switch-a-roo I see!
One fall afternoon, he called from Florida. Said he was with someone, but not WITH someone. He was about to get on a ride at Disney and would call me back. Weeks went by without me getting that call – must have been a long ass ride! When he did call, he kept asking me if I had gotten married since he hadn’t heard from me in a while. After time and time again of answering that question – I think he was sending a mass text out – I answered in a way he did not appreciate. A couple weeks went by and he texted that a phone call would be nice…Here is the text exchange – the final on 8/19
Isa – Hey stranger, u get married?
M – Yep!
Isa – Stop playing games
M – I’m deleting your information, I suggest you do the same with mine!
Isa – Go to hell
M – see ya there
Isa – If u wasn’t interested u shoulda said so. Stupid
M – If you were interested you wouldn’t resort to elementary insults. How sophomoric. Goodbye
Isa – whateva u never called Ur a joke
That was the end of our lovely romance! I laughed my ass off. He called ME stupid. I think he has no job and lives with his mama – poor excuse for a man. Five months later, I received a call from him. He said, “You are in New Jersey, right?” I clarified that I was in Michigan. He had no clue why we were no longer talking. I texted him the above conversation between us. He was astonished that I would accuse him of saying such things. Eventually, he believed me and apologized. My last words to him were “I forgive you.”
It is interesting that it feels like I’m breaking up with someone whom I’ve never met and have hardly talked too. There is still the connection and relationship that is started even though so much of it is mental and a false sense of reality. There are a couple such cases where it was hard for me to ‘break up’ and it doesn’t make much sense really.
One was a guy named Steve – in my phone he was Steve G Online. This meant that we were close enough for me to list his last name, but still wanted to be alerted that we met online. Steve and I hit it off from the start. We had good conversation that wove well together. I was interested in meeting him. Steve’s problem was that he was way too interested way too soon. He came across as being desperate. It is such a delicate balance. Be Interested, but not too interested. Contact me enough, but not too much. I ‘broke up’ with him earlier this year about 3 months ago because he was way too interested and I was not there. I think I liked him because he’s the teddy bear type. I don’t think I was romantically interested in him, just a good friend. He was not feeling the same way, so I had to back off. During a moment of loneliness, I IMed him on yahoo.l We chatted for a while and decided to meet after all. I asked him if he had talked with any other women since we last talked. He said ‘No I was waiting for you’. OMG! That’s not a good sign since I’d seen plenty of men since then! We tried scheduling a meeting time. I had some time and he had to work. Then he had time and I had to work. And once I had to see my #1 favorite guy - T. I told Steve I wouldn’t be able to see him till October (we were in August at the time) . He said, ‘you’re worth the wait’ YUCK! That is just too much and makes me think it is only words. So, he didn’t say much the week in September when I was in Florida. I texted him that I had met someone and I wanted to see where it went. I felt bad because I know I used him for attention that I wasn’t getting from my other guys on the list at that time. But that is the beauty of online dating, No love lost. No real connection because I can write everything off as not being real. ‘Well, it’s not like we met and hung out…” But still, I know I’m hurting feelings. About a week later, he texted me and asked, “So you contacted me to tell me that you were interested in someone else?!” Then he apologized for reacting that way. When it gets to be too much whining, I look for the nearest exit. There have been at least two times when I told a man that he sounded like a little P#$%y Ass Bitch. Now, I know that if I say those words to a man, there is no future in sight for us. That means there is no respect for him as a man at all. This response usually followed whining sessions that included phrases like, “I thought you were going to call me… I was waiting to hear from you… I guess you don’t like me any more… whaa whaaa whaaaa.” One man actually told me to tell him to MAN UP! Well hell, if you already know you need to, then do it dammit! These are the ones that give the good men a bad name.
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