January 12, 2010
The day started out fine. We talked this morning on the way to work and again once I made it to my office. I missed him during class and called when I could. While we were on the phone, my phone rang, he asked, who is that? I didn’t recognize the number. He started into the jealousy talk again. We ended up having another conversation where I assured him that I am not seeing anyone else. After class, I called and we talked for a bit. I told him I was going to dinner with Dena. He had to go and promised to call when he was done. About an hour later, he called and I was eating dinner so I did not answer. As I ate and talked with Dena, I was so happy. Just talked about how wonderful he is and how good everything is going. I talked about meeting him and how excited I am to go visit. I talked about how different he is from everyone else I’ve met. After dinner, I called him back. I said, HI, I AM SO HAPPY TO TALK TO YOU! I’ve been talking to Dena about you while we ate dinner. He had some question about, what? You don’t answer the phone when you’re eating. No, I don’t. It’s rude! He felt ignored. I felt mistrusted and defensive – again. We sat in silence on the phone and eventually he said he’d call back. There are few things that would ruin this for me. Lack of trust is at the top of the list. I will not be on guard and jumpy afraid that I will miss a call. I will not defend every person I talk to and every phone call that comes in. That is not how I choose to treat others and I will not be treated that way. Earilier, he said he wanted me to ‘be myself and let him know if I was upset about something.’ Well, he may get just what he asked for. I hung up the phone and yelled FUCK! THIS CANNOT HAPPEN! I did not freak out when he went four hours without calling me back yesterday. So a discussion will happen this evening. I like him so much and I think we would be happy together and have a good life. If he does not trust me, I’m afraid we won’t even make it that far.
No comments:
Post a Comment